As of today, it has been one month since my dad died. I miss him more than ever, and true sadness is really starting to sink in. The grieving process is an interesting beast. This month has been quite an emotional roller coaster. I took the picture below the evening that my dad died. My best friend and I knew we needed to get out of my rowdy, partying neighborhood and find somewhere quiet where I could reflect on the overwhelming news. I was drawn to Sunset Cliffs in Ocean Beach, a community of San Diego. I love the chill vibe, the beauty, and peace that O.B. (as it's known by locals) radiates. This sunset was the most meaningful and magical sunset I've ever experienced. It seemed brighter than usual, almost like I could feel my dad's twinkly eyes expressing themselves through it. I remember thinking how strange it was, that the sun was going down on my dad's last day on Earth. I wrote a lot of stream of conscious rambling in the days that followed. I needed an outlet for the ever flowing thoughts cropping up in my mind. I took some of my writing and put it on display at my dad's memorial service. My brother spoke. I've never felt more proud of my little brother. Processing this loss is going to be an ongoing journey. Below is the writing I put on display for my family.
Ocean Beach, CA. September 26, 2010.
*When it's all said and done, and the curtains fall on the stage of your time here on Earth, your life really amounts to a creation. A creation with a message. My dad's message was very clear. Be happy, be kind, be loving. Don't sweat the small stuff, build things, create, and draw regularly. Smile often and never lose the twinkle in your eye.*